Loosen the reins....

.........easy to say, harder to do.

Our son Ben, has a global developmental delay courtesy of Jacobsen's Syndrome. He turned 16 on New Years Eve past and with every day seems to be getting more and more independent.

This afternoon he asked me if he could walk the mile or so the the youth club he attends' by his own'. I said he could but said he must take his phone. 'It's run out of battery'. Well you can take mine.

'No Dad, apart from which Dad, you don't allowed your phone at youth club!' So off he went - un-phoned. I texted Catherine and asked her to text Mel, the club leader, asking her to let us know Ben had arrived safely. He did. She did. I was relieved

All's well. Or is it? If so, when is it?

At some point in your children's lives you have to let go - it is their lives and they have to be empowered to make decisions, for better or worse. But when is the right time to 'abrogate' your responsibility to them? At what point is it right to step aside and allow them the reins? Do we ever reach that point

What prevents them from taking them sooner? Money? Fear? Reliance?

My view is that we are constantly loosening the reins until we get to a point where all we are really there to provide is an ear to listen, when sought, wise counsel, when sought, a shoulder to cry on, when sought, financial aid, when sought.

I am thinking the time to let go is when nought is sort and is that ever?

It wouldn't feel right to let them ride just hanging onto the mane - would it?

" Ma - opinion sort"

#Loosenthereins #independence